I like to perform tests to see if I have the same end result as others - in other words, I like to perform experiments. This past weekend I was in a rocking mood and I really wanted to jam. I also wanted to see what it would be like to be a true rock star. My experiment consisted of Guitar Hero III for X-Box 360, a bottle of Balvenie 15 year old Scotch Whiskey, and strobe lights.
I'm not going to pretend that I am any good at Guitar Hero, but I can keep up with medium on most songs. But how would I perform if I was just as "under the influence" as Slash in his hayday? Without an ounce of liquor in me I was off to a great start…as usual. "Cult of Personality" - killed it. Took my first swig of Scotch Whiskey, and proceeded to breath fire, cough, runny eyes, and I think it even put a few chest hairs on me. That stuff is bad…and I like it. I am in the middle of "Cliffs of Dover" and feels like the temperature has gone up 10 degrees so I have to open a window.
2 hours and 3 glasses in…by this time my scores are starting to reflect the amount of liquor I have had, and I can't figure out how Slash could be half in the bag and still hit his notes - I can hardly match up a blue key and strum…red/blue doubles - impossible. Folks, this is getting really real - I am seeing double, the crowd in the game is booing and I got kicked off stage.
In summary, I am not a Guitar Hero - a real Guitar Hero can hold their liquor and still hit every note. I am a washed up Super Mario Brothers hack.
PTFT: Did you not just read I drank half a bottle of whiskey?
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2 comments:
glad to know that you are enjoying your evenings. slash lied about all that booze, he was only on heroine when he shredded.
MC - you are to book smart for your own good. "Heroine" as you wrote, is the main good female character in a work of fiction. Heroin is the drug that I think you meant to use in this comment.
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