Monday, October 27, 2008

Blog Control to Major Tom

Did you know that the folks that are responsible for driving trains are referred to as "engineers"? This might be the most outrageous use of the word engineer. These people are called engineers because they can read traffic signals, talk on a CB, and move a joystick backwards and forwards to control a train? If that's an engineer - then I'm a nuclear physicist. I'm tired of fake names being given to jobs so that they appear to be glamorous. Take the train conductor for instance - that's they guy that collects tickets. Once I saw a conductor with two patches on his sleeve - one was a star and the other was an admiral insignia like he was in the NJ Transit Military.

What do those patches mean? Is he responsible for a platoon of ticket collectors? Did he outperform his peers in Collector Bootcamp? How was it determined that he should receive this distinguished honor? And the engineer, what a racket - in order to become a member of the "Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers" you must of course be an engineer. Here are the qualifications for being a Locomotive Engineer:

1. At least 21 years of age
2. Minimum education of high school or equivalent
3. Good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight

Seriously - these guys are engineers? The scarier part is that "If you become a locomotive engineer, you’ll join the ranks of the most skilled and experienced of all rail workers." That must mean that the other employees of the railroad are a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. Can you imagine going to work each day and aspiring to become a locomotive engineer? "Darn - if only I was in good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight. I blame my mother."

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