The credit crisis is now affecting me. Unbelievable. When they said this crisis was going to affect everyone - I excluded myself from that pool of individuals. I don't like to lease things, but the one thing that I could rationalize was leasing our computer from Dell. We all know this technology essentially reinvents itself and doubles in capacity and speed every 18 months. So, owning this equipment would not make sense. We had a credit line with Dell Financial Services that would allow us to lease about 5 of these machines. Those were the good old days. I recently attempted to refresh our technology and turn in our two year old machine for a new one - which is faster and cheaper than our current machine.
Working with the Sales Representative we put the deal together and then he submitted the application to the finance people. My application for a new lease was declined. Do they know who I am? My credit score is good, we never missed a payment on the current machine - and even have it setup to auto draft each month from our checking account, and the new machine was going to be $10 cheaper per month. Somehow our line of credit went from a lot to zero. We no longer have a line of credit available through the financing arm of Dell. This is the kind of thing that really bothers me - how can several million bad credit folks ruin credit for the rest of us? How about simply reducing my line of credit by a third rather than completely wiping it out?
I basically thanked the Sales Rep in the nicest way I could - by telling him that we would be leasing an Apple and hung up.
Apple's are a rip-off. A similar machine to the Dell is 3 times as much and that does not include the investment in Apple software I would have to make. By the time we finished pricing this bad boy out I would need a second line of home equity - which of course is not available to me since we are in the middle of some crisis that involves the availability of credit.
I dislike people with poor credit scores. Have you no shame? My credit score might be the second most important thing to me since it dictates life. It basically allows you to buy a house, or a car, and in some instances it is used to determine if you are a good candidate for a job. The other interesting thing to note is that in order to develop a credit score, you have to have credit - but now people aren't getting credit so they can't develop a credit score. "If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?!"
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A Blog to a Kill
Me lady is in court today - as a juror. This leaves the kids under my watchful hawk eye. It also gives me time to opine on daytime television. I have been trying to think about how to put this gently so as not to offend too many of the readers of The Daily "Gospel" - that's the nickname of The Daily Blog Blog, tell your friends. Daytime television...it is for idiots.
How did I reach this conclusion? Well, I knew I hit rock bottom when flipping through the channels and some dude was helping a girl "get fashionable" and commented "that he was soooo jealous of her porcelain skin, OMG." Bro, are you a eunuch (google it)? Before hitting rock bottom my morning started out with the Today Show on NBC. Before 9am I could stand the show - it wasn't great but it was background noise with some legitimate news mingled in. Then the show went 100% female. I connected with 0% of what was said after 9am - except that part about men finding red to be the most attractive color on a woman. I wasn't totally convinced until they showed Kelly LeBrock dancing in red from the movie "The Woman in Red", and I was convinced (for the dudes reading this, YouTube it - no regrets).
"The View", this show will set women back 20-25 years by my estimates. The View "is ABC Daytime's morning chatfest, featuring a team of dynamic women of different ages, experiences and backgrounds discussing the most exciting events of the day." Elisabeth Hasselbeck recapped about her time on the campaign trail with Sarah Palin which stirred up the other exciting co-hosts since Elisabeth is the lone Republican on the show. Then everyone got a "Vote" t-shirt that was designed by Hiho Batik which retails for $38. I don't know who this Hiho Batik person is, but me lady showed me how to iron decals onto t-shirts when she was designing "onesies" for the dudette (our daughter). Total cost - $3. You can purchase one of these designer MunsOnsies or a $3 "Vote" t-shirt at our eBay store located here: http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/wonderboyjack_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZQQ_sopZ12
How did I reach this conclusion? Well, I knew I hit rock bottom when flipping through the channels and some dude was helping a girl "get fashionable" and commented "that he was soooo jealous of her porcelain skin, OMG." Bro, are you a eunuch (google it)? Before hitting rock bottom my morning started out with the Today Show on NBC. Before 9am I could stand the show - it wasn't great but it was background noise with some legitimate news mingled in. Then the show went 100% female. I connected with 0% of what was said after 9am - except that part about men finding red to be the most attractive color on a woman. I wasn't totally convinced until they showed Kelly LeBrock dancing in red from the movie "The Woman in Red", and I was convinced (for the dudes reading this, YouTube it - no regrets).
"The View", this show will set women back 20-25 years by my estimates. The View "is ABC Daytime's morning chatfest, featuring a team of dynamic women of different ages, experiences and backgrounds discussing the most exciting events of the day." Elisabeth Hasselbeck recapped about her time on the campaign trail with Sarah Palin which stirred up the other exciting co-hosts since Elisabeth is the lone Republican on the show. Then everyone got a "Vote" t-shirt that was designed by Hiho Batik which retails for $38. I don't know who this Hiho Batik person is, but me lady showed me how to iron decals onto t-shirts when she was designing "onesies" for the dudette (our daughter). Total cost - $3. You can purchase one of these designer MunsOnsies or a $3 "Vote" t-shirt at our eBay store located here: http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/wonderboyjack_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZQQ_sopZ12
Monday, October 27, 2008
Blog Control to Major Tom
Did you know that the folks that are responsible for driving trains are referred to as "engineers"? This might be the most outrageous use of the word engineer. These people are called engineers because they can read traffic signals, talk on a CB, and move a joystick backwards and forwards to control a train? If that's an engineer - then I'm a nuclear physicist. I'm tired of fake names being given to jobs so that they appear to be glamorous. Take the train conductor for instance - that's they guy that collects tickets. Once I saw a conductor with two patches on his sleeve - one was a star and the other was an admiral insignia like he was in the NJ Transit Military.
What do those patches mean? Is he responsible for a platoon of ticket collectors? Did he outperform his peers in Collector Bootcamp? How was it determined that he should receive this distinguished honor? And the engineer, what a racket - in order to become a member of the "Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers" you must of course be an engineer. Here are the qualifications for being a Locomotive Engineer:
1. At least 21 years of age
2. Minimum education of high school or equivalent
3. Good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight
Seriously - these guys are engineers? The scarier part is that "If you become a locomotive engineer, you’ll join the ranks of the most skilled and experienced of all rail workers." That must mean that the other employees of the railroad are a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. Can you imagine going to work each day and aspiring to become a locomotive engineer? "Darn - if only I was in good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight. I blame my mother."
What do those patches mean? Is he responsible for a platoon of ticket collectors? Did he outperform his peers in Collector Bootcamp? How was it determined that he should receive this distinguished honor? And the engineer, what a racket - in order to become a member of the "Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers" you must of course be an engineer. Here are the qualifications for being a Locomotive Engineer:
1. At least 21 years of age
2. Minimum education of high school or equivalent
3. Good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight
Seriously - these guys are engineers? The scarier part is that "If you become a locomotive engineer, you’ll join the ranks of the most skilled and experienced of all rail workers." That must mean that the other employees of the railroad are a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. Can you imagine going to work each day and aspiring to become a locomotive engineer? "Darn - if only I was in good physical condition with excellent hearing and eyesight. I blame my mother."
Friday, October 24, 2008
Don't Blog On Me
My town's weekly newspaper is great. Great in that it is so small-time and ridiculous. The "Letters to the Editor" each week are some of the best ever. In this section, readers/writers go back and forth on "envelope pushing" subjects such as allowing dogs to be walked in the downtown area, the closing of the local pool to members for a "volunteer appreciation" swim day, and the latest and greatest subject is the use of power equipment by landscape companies and homeowners.
At the center of this debate is the amount of noise put out by gas powered lawn equipment. The writer suggests that this equipment should be allowed only during the hours of 9-5 and not on Sundays. I am ok with this so far, but then the week after this suggestion was posted another writer suggests using a rake and an electric lawn mower. What a disgrace this person is to mankind. . . MAN being the keyword. A rake and an electric lawn mower? Go back to eating quiche, loser.
This person has obviously never owned the tools that I own, and therefore does not appreciate the smell of a 2 cycle engine exhaust system (does exhaust cause MESOTHELIOMA?), or the commercial grade Snapper push lawnmower with a cup holder for your beer. This person does not enjoy the power of pulling a trigger on nail gun, and the roar of a 40 gallon air compressor with an impact wrench attached, the slicing of plywood on a table saw, or the sweet sound of an 18 inch chainsaw. I know what some of you hippies (hi Marble!) are saying, my Husqvarna tools are outlawed in California for a reason. Perhaps its because the rumble of said tools will cause California to fall off into the ocean. But here in sunny NJ, the one with the biggest, loudest, tools - rules.
I enjoy my tools. I enjoy the noise they make. I enjoy making lawns perfect, screwing in tight, and nailing nails when and if I want to nail something. I enjoy them morning, noon, and night.
Seriously, is there anything more un-American than rakes and electric lawnmowers? Think about it, we don't rake - we use leaf blowers that blow those leafs back onto the branches of our neighbors trees. We use lawnmowers that have enough force to pull the paint off a house and turn your kid's hair orange. Need a piece of paper cut? Put those scissors down and pickup a jig saw. You know what kind of person uses an electric lawnmower? The kind of person that cuts their own hair with a Flowbee and still wears a Smock when performing any type manual labor. Not me, not ever - "Don't Tread on Me" and "Keep Your Laws Off My Body" (I have a backpack leaf blower & matching goggles) that's what I say.
At the center of this debate is the amount of noise put out by gas powered lawn equipment. The writer suggests that this equipment should be allowed only during the hours of 9-5 and not on Sundays. I am ok with this so far, but then the week after this suggestion was posted another writer suggests using a rake and an electric lawn mower. What a disgrace this person is to mankind. . . MAN being the keyword. A rake and an electric lawn mower? Go back to eating quiche, loser.
This person has obviously never owned the tools that I own, and therefore does not appreciate the smell of a 2 cycle engine exhaust system (does exhaust cause MESOTHELIOMA?), or the commercial grade Snapper push lawnmower with a cup holder for your beer. This person does not enjoy the power of pulling a trigger on nail gun, and the roar of a 40 gallon air compressor with an impact wrench attached, the slicing of plywood on a table saw, or the sweet sound of an 18 inch chainsaw. I know what some of you hippies (hi Marble!) are saying, my Husqvarna tools are outlawed in California for a reason. Perhaps its because the rumble of said tools will cause California to fall off into the ocean. But here in sunny NJ, the one with the biggest, loudest, tools - rules.
I enjoy my tools. I enjoy the noise they make. I enjoy making lawns perfect, screwing in tight, and nailing nails when and if I want to nail something. I enjoy them morning, noon, and night.
Seriously, is there anything more un-American than rakes and electric lawnmowers? Think about it, we don't rake - we use leaf blowers that blow those leafs back onto the branches of our neighbors trees. We use lawnmowers that have enough force to pull the paint off a house and turn your kid's hair orange. Need a piece of paper cut? Put those scissors down and pickup a jig saw. You know what kind of person uses an electric lawnmower? The kind of person that cuts their own hair with a Flowbee and still wears a Smock when performing any type manual labor. Not me, not ever - "Don't Tread on Me" and "Keep Your Laws Off My Body" (I have a backpack leaf blower & matching goggles) that's what I say.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Blog You Like An Animal
"It's at times like this the great heaven knows that we wish we had not so many clothes" sang Adam Ant in the 1980's in his hit "Strip". I heard this song on my way into work this morning and started thinking about the ramifications of wearing less clothing as Adam suggests occurred during "ancient history". For one, it's getting colder now and nobody looks good naked and shivering - trust me, been there done that. Secondly, we're a fat bunch of people. Between 1962 and the year 2000, the number of obese Americans has grown from 13% to 31%. There are 3.8 million people over 300 pounds and 400,000 Americans weigh 400 pounds or more.
Imagine them in less clothing Adam. I don't know how folks looked in the 80's, but this song would not be the anthem for 2008. Don't believe me? Conduct the informal survey I did this morning. I looked around the train car I was on and thought, "would that person look good with less clothing or not". The participants were unaware of this analysis - kind of like exchanging their "normal coffee for Folgers crystals". The results? There was one dude that I thought would be ok with wearing less clothes. He looked like he worked out and in fact, he was reading a book entitled, "Deadly Karate Blows" available from Amazon.com. Now, I am happily married and in order for this analysis to be thoughtful I had to be unbiased - even if it meant considering dudes. I'm not suggesting the guy was "hot", I'm just saying he wasn't obese.
I thought about telling him about my conclusion, but then thought better of it based on his choice of reading material. It was at that moment that I realized that not only could that guy go ahead with wearing less, but he might be the smartest commuter ever. The trains are packed each morning and people act like a bunch of animals. Very often your pelvis is in touch with about 5 other pelvis' or mid-sections depending on your height. But this guy? He had no one within a one-foot radius of him. You don't lay a pelvis on a dude reading "Deadly Karate Blows".
When I arrived at work I immediately went to barnesandnoble.com and invested in my new commuting book - "How To Put An Animal Down Without Using The Gun You Already Own". I will keep you posted on my commute.
Imagine them in less clothing Adam. I don't know how folks looked in the 80's, but this song would not be the anthem for 2008. Don't believe me? Conduct the informal survey I did this morning. I looked around the train car I was on and thought, "would that person look good with less clothing or not". The participants were unaware of this analysis - kind of like exchanging their "normal coffee for Folgers crystals". The results? There was one dude that I thought would be ok with wearing less clothes. He looked like he worked out and in fact, he was reading a book entitled, "Deadly Karate Blows" available from Amazon.com. Now, I am happily married and in order for this analysis to be thoughtful I had to be unbiased - even if it meant considering dudes. I'm not suggesting the guy was "hot", I'm just saying he wasn't obese.
I thought about telling him about my conclusion, but then thought better of it based on his choice of reading material. It was at that moment that I realized that not only could that guy go ahead with wearing less, but he might be the smartest commuter ever. The trains are packed each morning and people act like a bunch of animals. Very often your pelvis is in touch with about 5 other pelvis' or mid-sections depending on your height. But this guy? He had no one within a one-foot radius of him. You don't lay a pelvis on a dude reading "Deadly Karate Blows".
When I arrived at work I immediately went to barnesandnoble.com and invested in my new commuting book - "How To Put An Animal Down Without Using The Gun You Already Own". I will keep you posted on my commute.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Jack in the Blog
This whole credit crisis has everyone pointing fingers at who to blame for the mess. Some people blame Clinton, some blame Barney Frank, others blame Hank Paulson and Wall Street. I am going to go out on a limb here and tell you who I blame - Oprah Winfrey. What does Oprah have to do with the current credit crisis you ask? Everything.
Oprah has a daily viewership of 11.1 million people on average each day. These folks are then provided with episodes in which Oprah has a guest on, usually the author, of a book she has included in her Oprah Book Club. One such book is entitled "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and was largely influenced by Wallace Wattles book "The Science of Getting Rich". "The Secret" basically breaks down into a thought process that states if you want to drive a BMW, you have to think and believe you are already driving a BMW. If you want to live in a big house, you have to think, believe, and act like you live in a big house.
By having Rhonda on the show, Oprah legitimized the book and the thought process behind it. In my opinion, what happened next due to the "Oprah Phenomenon" is that folks believed they could afford a BMW, then they really went out and bought a BMW. If they believed they could afford a big house and big mortgage, they went out and shopped around and bought a big mortgage McMansion.
Look, I truly believe one day that I will win the lottery - but I am not spending my earnings yet. I first want the money in hand, and then I will spend it. It's like the old saying, "smoke'm if you got'em". People were smoking alright when they "believed" they could afford things that were way out of their league - and it is all due to Oprah's Book Club. Thanks Oprah, thanks for creating the Credit Crisis.
PTFP: I quit.
Oprah has a daily viewership of 11.1 million people on average each day. These folks are then provided with episodes in which Oprah has a guest on, usually the author, of a book she has included in her Oprah Book Club. One such book is entitled "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and was largely influenced by Wallace Wattles book "The Science of Getting Rich". "The Secret" basically breaks down into a thought process that states if you want to drive a BMW, you have to think and believe you are already driving a BMW. If you want to live in a big house, you have to think, believe, and act like you live in a big house.
By having Rhonda on the show, Oprah legitimized the book and the thought process behind it. In my opinion, what happened next due to the "Oprah Phenomenon" is that folks believed they could afford a BMW, then they really went out and bought a BMW. If they believed they could afford a big house and big mortgage, they went out and shopped around and bought a big mortgage McMansion.
Look, I truly believe one day that I will win the lottery - but I am not spending my earnings yet. I first want the money in hand, and then I will spend it. It's like the old saying, "smoke'm if you got'em". People were smoking alright when they "believed" they could afford things that were way out of their league - and it is all due to Oprah's Book Club. Thanks Oprah, thanks for creating the Credit Crisis.
PTFP: I quit.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Block Rockin Blog
I once wished I was one of the brothers in the group "Chemical Brothers". I also wished I was one of the guys that made up "Daft Punk" until I learned they were French and deleted all their music from iTunes - except "Alive 2008". That album is the feel good album of the year.
Back in those days I wanted my stage name to be DJ BootKnocker. I even had my AIM account setup with this name. Once I received a message from someone who thought they knew me, but it turned out they were looking for DJ BootKnocka. No no...Don’t street this name out. I grew up on the tough streets of a town in Northern NJ. How tough? Watching the original "90210" was like watching a day in the life of my high school.
DJ BootKnocker has since been retired and I'm not about to go on the road with my hit single "Coolin It". But if I did have such a song, and it did become a hit, I might reconsider bringing back DJ BootKnocker.
PTFP: Take a wild guess - 7in.
Back in those days I wanted my stage name to be DJ BootKnocker. I even had my AIM account setup with this name. Once I received a message from someone who thought they knew me, but it turned out they were looking for DJ BootKnocka. No no...Don’t street this name out. I grew up on the tough streets of a town in Northern NJ. How tough? Watching the original "90210" was like watching a day in the life of my high school.
DJ BootKnocker has since been retired and I'm not about to go on the road with my hit single "Coolin It". But if I did have such a song, and it did become a hit, I might reconsider bringing back DJ BootKnocker.
PTFP: Take a wild guess - 7in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)