Let My Blog Open The Door

Are folks going through tough times? Sure, the economy, the pending election, unemployment, etc., are all factors that are hitting everyone in some way, shape, or form. But is my family in dire straits? You would think so when I discovered this weekend that my wife thinks we are trying to survive "The Great Depression II".

Over this past weekend we enjoyed a great meal from a hamburger joint called "Checkers" - this is the east coast version of "In-and-Out Burger", although nothing compares to the latter. In any case, after finishing our meal we had about 7 remaining ketchup packets, 1 sweet and sour dip, and a handful of napkins. Folks, I discovered my wife's dirty little secret. She has been hording these types of items from every take-out joint we frequent and uses these items in the future. What am I talking about? I'm trying to tell you that after hours, my wife takes these individual packets and opens them up and squirts them into our Heinz bottle, or our Sweet and Sour bottle. She stacks the napkins in our napkin drawer - soy sauce? Into the Kikkoman bottle.

Babe, sweetheart, my love - I'll be GD'd if I can't provide condiments for our family. I would like to renew our wedding vows, right here and now - "I promise to love you, cherish you, and provide for you - including condiments - until death do us part. If the sky were to fall tomorrow, and I need to stand in the unemployment line - I promise that if nothing else, we will be able to afford our own condiments without having to recycle Burger King brand ketchup, or McDonald's brand sweet and sour."

I never realized my wife was doing this until I grabbed an empty "Big Gulp" and was about to throw it out and she quickly grabbed it from me so that our son could use it for juice. Look, just because our Dell credit line has been revoked doesn't mean I need to wipe my face with a different logoed napkin each night at dinner, or drink my milk from a recycled 7-Eleven cup. So please, when we are done with these items, let's just throw them away. Or better yet, let's put them in one of those clothing drops and then claim them as charitable deductions for our 2008 taxes.