Being unemployed for several months made me forget how ridiculous people are during my morning commute. But not all people in general, people that commute on the PATH between the hours of 7am and 7:30am from Newark, NJ to the World Trade Center.
In three days I have seen 3 "interesting" items during my morning commute:
Day 1: An overweight pretty young thing no older than 25 with a button on her denim jacket that read "One night stands rock". I felt like asking her how she would know, but that would have been rude.
Day 2: There was a gentlman reading what I believe to be "Awake", the Mormon newsletter. The newsletter was not the interesting thing, it was the headline of the article he was reading: "Aliens, God's Messengers?". Now, I am not a religious person, but perhaps that is because no religion has asked the important question that this article does. Failing to acknowledge aliens is failing your congregation is what I always say (and I mean always). I am now considering converting.
Day 3: Dude was wearing a kickass black leather motorcycle jacket with skulls as zippers. Seriously, I would wear this jacket. That's until I spotted on the righht shoulder a lone patch that read "US Customs". Bro when I think of tough as nails leather jackets and motorcycles, US Customs is not part of that equation.
This is a warmup - but I think it feels good to be back. Twitter version: One stands rock! Aliens are God. US Customs.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Blogs Are Back In Town
I took a break...and now I'm back. I recently retired from my job and found myself with a lot more time on my hands - so posting will be back on track. Although I am retired, unlike T.I. I do not have rubber band banks in my pocket, but YOU can have whatever you like.
What I like about being retired is that I no longer need to be careful of writing something that will offend my co-workers since we are no longer co-workers I can take the gloves off. When I was writing before it was like being the wrapper on a condom - my words were super insulated from the real world. But now I can take the wrapper off and throw away the rubber and enjoy the splendor of my thoughts in all their rawness.
So what have I been doing? Working out, training for a marathon, and looking for a new job. In addition I have been cleaning the hell out of our house. Our local hardware store was selling cheap storage containers so everything is now stackable in our basement.
This is a short post and not that funny - but I wanted to tell you that I am back. Write you later gator.
What I like about being retired is that I no longer need to be careful of writing something that will offend my co-workers since we are no longer co-workers I can take the gloves off. When I was writing before it was like being the wrapper on a condom - my words were super insulated from the real world. But now I can take the wrapper off and throw away the rubber and enjoy the splendor of my thoughts in all their rawness.
So what have I been doing? Working out, training for a marathon, and looking for a new job. In addition I have been cleaning the hell out of our house. Our local hardware store was selling cheap storage containers so everything is now stackable in our basement.
This is a short post and not that funny - but I wanted to tell you that I am back. Write you later gator.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Blogs on Film
You know what I am tired of hearing and reading about? "Man Having Second Baby" or "It's My Right to Have Kid, Pregnant Man Tells Oprah". The dude is not a dude. The dude is a woman with facial hair. Facial hair does not make someone a dude. Thomas Beatie is really a woman that legally changed her name to Thomas and grew a goatee and kept her "female organs intact because she hoped to have a child some day". Just because you legally change something and put a mask on does not change the plumbing - you know what I mean?
Let's look at this from another angle; there are plenty of women out there that look like men that have offspring. They aren't going around saying "Look at me, I'm a pregnant man". Why? Because they aren't. I'm not saying these women are homely or disgusting - I'm just saying they might have a few more masculine features than some men - but below the waistline and above the quads, they are as female as Heidi Klum
Take for example a grenade - if I legally name my grenade "Milk Shake" and put a straw in it, does that make it a milk shake? Well, using the logic that various news outlets are using by calling Thomas a "he/him/man", yes - this would make my grenade a milk shake. I like milk shakes, and there is nothing milk shakey about a grenade with a straw in it. Actually that is not true, I take that back. If you were to compare a milk shake from the Kenilworth Diner on the Boulevard to a grenade, they do have something in common. They both will blow your mind (chocolate or vanilla, both are tremendous).
Note from publisher: Sorry for the publishing delay "M'lady was busy with the kids."
Let's look at this from another angle; there are plenty of women out there that look like men that have offspring. They aren't going around saying "Look at me, I'm a pregnant man". Why? Because they aren't. I'm not saying these women are homely or disgusting - I'm just saying they might have a few more masculine features than some men - but below the waistline and above the quads, they are as female as Heidi Klum
Take for example a grenade - if I legally name my grenade "Milk Shake" and put a straw in it, does that make it a milk shake? Well, using the logic that various news outlets are using by calling Thomas a "he/him/man", yes - this would make my grenade a milk shake. I like milk shakes, and there is nothing milk shakey about a grenade with a straw in it. Actually that is not true, I take that back. If you were to compare a milk shake from the Kenilworth Diner on the Boulevard to a grenade, they do have something in common. They both will blow your mind (chocolate or vanilla, both are tremendous).
Note from publisher: Sorry for the publishing delay "M'lady was busy with the kids."
Friday, November 14, 2008
Bossa Nova Blog
Butt (Day 4)
So the timing of this cook is a little bit weird since we are eating it for lunch at work. Given the 12:30pm eat time, I woke up at 4:30am and opened all the vents on the Egg. The reason for this is you want to bring the the butt to 190 degrees before you pull it of the grill. Once the butt is at 190 degrees you can remove it and cover it with foil to cool down before you start pulling it.
Because I had some extra time on my hands I made the BBQ sauce. This sauce is one that Scooter shared with me and I like it.
2 cups cider vinegar
3 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
4 teaspoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon Tabasco
2 teaspoons hat red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons black pepper
I also picked up the potato rolls and slaw from Wegman's. Once you are all set to eat put some butt on the bun, add slaw, and enjoy. I hope you like your butt - I do.
So the timing of this cook is a little bit weird since we are eating it for lunch at work. Given the 12:30pm eat time, I woke up at 4:30am and opened all the vents on the Egg. The reason for this is you want to bring the the butt to 190 degrees before you pull it of the grill. Once the butt is at 190 degrees you can remove it and cover it with foil to cool down before you start pulling it.
Because I had some extra time on my hands I made the BBQ sauce. This sauce is one that Scooter shared with me and I like it.
2 cups cider vinegar
3 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
4 teaspoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon Tabasco
2 teaspoons hat red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons black pepper
I also picked up the potato rolls and slaw from Wegman's. Once you are all set to eat put some butt on the bun, add slaw, and enjoy. I hope you like your butt - I do.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Does Your Blog Know
Butt (Day 3)
So the butt sat in the marinade for 7 hours. But and I decided to inject the butt last night too. I used half of the injection last night and then I will use 1/4 of it before I put the butt on the Egg, and then the remaining 1/4 will get injected before I go to bed tonight.
How to inject a butt:
Stogies Pork Injection
2 cups apple juice or cider
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup corn syrup
1 tbsp of the rub you use on the butt (finely ground)
Mix all ingredients together and heat over a low burner until the rub mixture is dissolved. Cool to room temperature. IMPORTANTE: Do not inject the butt with hot liquid - ever.
As for the rub - I used something called a Voo Doo rub and it consists of:
1 cup cane sugar (Hawaii)
1/2 cup Lawry's seasoned salt
1/4 cup garlic salt
2 tablespoons celery salt
2 tablespoons onion salt
1/2 cup Hungarian hot paprika
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon mustard powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon MSG
You will want to pull the butt out an hour before grill time and bring it to room temperature. When you pull the butt out, you want to rub it. Let me recommend this - do not actually rub the butt. Sprinkle the rub mixture on to the butt, but don't rub the butt. This will clog the pores of the meat and that's not what you want to do. Nobody hates a clogged pored butt more than me.
After you spread the rub on the butt, you need to build your fire. Today we are using some Wicked Good Lump - Weekend Warrior Blend. Split the lump into large, medium, and small piles. Spread large pieces across the bottom of the grill first, single story pile please. Then fill in any holes or gaps with the medium pieces. Last, spread small pieces across the top. Start one large piece of lump on another grill grate - but not on the grill you are going to use. Once your starter piece is good add it to the center of your lump in the grill you are going to use and bring that baby to 190 degrees. Once stabilized at that temp, add your butt, and grill indirectly for 18 hours.
So the butt sat in the marinade for 7 hours. But and I decided to inject the butt last night too. I used half of the injection last night and then I will use 1/4 of it before I put the butt on the Egg, and then the remaining 1/4 will get injected before I go to bed tonight.
How to inject a butt:
Stogies Pork Injection
2 cups apple juice or cider
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup corn syrup
1 tbsp of the rub you use on the butt (finely ground)
Mix all ingredients together and heat over a low burner until the rub mixture is dissolved. Cool to room temperature. IMPORTANTE: Do not inject the butt with hot liquid - ever.
As for the rub - I used something called a Voo Doo rub and it consists of:
1 cup cane sugar (Hawaii)
1/2 cup Lawry's seasoned salt
1/4 cup garlic salt
2 tablespoons celery salt
2 tablespoons onion salt
1/2 cup Hungarian hot paprika
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon mustard powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon MSG
You will want to pull the butt out an hour before grill time and bring it to room temperature. When you pull the butt out, you want to rub it. Let me recommend this - do not actually rub the butt. Sprinkle the rub mixture on to the butt, but don't rub the butt. This will clog the pores of the meat and that's not what you want to do. Nobody hates a clogged pored butt more than me.
After you spread the rub on the butt, you need to build your fire. Today we are using some Wicked Good Lump - Weekend Warrior Blend. Split the lump into large, medium, and small piles. Spread large pieces across the bottom of the grill first, single story pile please. Then fill in any holes or gaps with the medium pieces. Last, spread small pieces across the top. Start one large piece of lump on another grill grate - but not on the grill you are going to use. Once your starter piece is good add it to the center of your lump in the grill you are going to use and bring that baby to 190 degrees. Once stabilized at that temp, add your butt, and grill indirectly for 18 hours.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Nobody's Supposed to Blog Here
Butt (Day 2)
Today the butt needs to begin marinating. I am trying a new marinade call a California Pork Marinade. For those of you following along, here is the recipe:
1/2 cup Cider Vinegar
1/4 cup chopped, unpeeled orange
2 tablespoons chopped, unpeeled lemon
1/2 cup beef stock
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons molasses
1 tablespoon pickling spice wrapped in cheese cloth
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon dried mint
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon MSG
Combine the vinegar, lemons, and oranges in a blender and puree. Then bring this mixture along with all other ingredients to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Bring the marinade to room temperature and then sit your butt in it for 5-7 hours (at least). Tomorrow morning we will make the mixture to inject the butt with, and let's not forget that we are going to rub this thing all over too. With tomorrow being cooking day, we have a lot to do including splitting our lump into small/medium, medium, and large piles to make our fire right to burn for 19 hours or so. And as mentioned above, the butt gets injected and rubbed at least an hour before grill time (11am).
Today the butt needs to begin marinating. I am trying a new marinade call a California Pork Marinade. For those of you following along, here is the recipe:
1/2 cup Cider Vinegar
1/4 cup chopped, unpeeled orange
2 tablespoons chopped, unpeeled lemon
1/2 cup beef stock
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons molasses
1 tablespoon pickling spice wrapped in cheese cloth
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon dried mint
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon MSG
Combine the vinegar, lemons, and oranges in a blender and puree. Then bring this mixture along with all other ingredients to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Bring the marinade to room temperature and then sit your butt in it for 5-7 hours (at least). Tomorrow morning we will make the mixture to inject the butt with, and let's not forget that we are going to rub this thing all over too. With tomorrow being cooking day, we have a lot to do including splitting our lump into small/medium, medium, and large piles to make our fire right to burn for 19 hours or so. And as mentioned above, the butt gets injected and rubbed at least an hour before grill time (11am).
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Baby Got Blog
I am on stacation (vacation time where you don't actually go anywhere) this week. Instead of travelling, I am researching lump charcoal for a baking contest at work this Friday. Grilling and baking are the same, except grilling involves beer and an occasional cigar. I am preparing pulled pork for the good folks at work and will provide the details of what goes into a pork butt over the course of the week.
Saturday and Sunday were spent looking at research performed by an independent body (http://www.nakedwhiz.com/) on various lump charcoals that other BBQ enthusiast have used. While I would love me some Real Montana Maple Lump Charcoal, I have located some Wicked Good Charcoal - Weekend Warrior Blend about 30 minutes from house as well as Wegmans Brand lump charcoal. Traditionally I have used the Big Green Egg brand lump and have been very pleased. As a test for the butt, I used the Wegmans brand lump on some cedar planked salmon. The results - terrible lump, great fish. I was so pleased with the fish, I made it again the next night, but this time I brined the salmon for about 4 hours in water, kosher salt, and brown sugar. I then cooked the salmon on a maple plank that had been soaking for 4 hours in water at 450 degrees for 15 minutes. If there are two things I learned during this test they are:
1. Brine salmon because the taste is so much better
2. Wegmans brand lump is terrible
Butt Update (Day 1)
Picked up the butts today. That's right - two 8.5 pound pork butts with the bone left in. Let me take a moment to explain the butt. A pork butt is not the butt of a pig - for pulled pork you actually use a shoulder, and the shoulder is often referred to as a butt. There is also a pork picnic that you can use which is the shoulder with a little piece of the leg left on it. Example: Look at your shoulder and then imagine cutting it off and leaving a little piece of your arm on - that's a picnic. Next steps will include: injecting, rubbing, and pulling the butt.
Saturday and Sunday were spent looking at research performed by an independent body (http://www.nakedwhiz.com/) on various lump charcoals that other BBQ enthusiast have used. While I would love me some Real Montana Maple Lump Charcoal, I have located some Wicked Good Charcoal - Weekend Warrior Blend about 30 minutes from house as well as Wegmans Brand lump charcoal. Traditionally I have used the Big Green Egg brand lump and have been very pleased. As a test for the butt, I used the Wegmans brand lump on some cedar planked salmon. The results - terrible lump, great fish. I was so pleased with the fish, I made it again the next night, but this time I brined the salmon for about 4 hours in water, kosher salt, and brown sugar. I then cooked the salmon on a maple plank that had been soaking for 4 hours in water at 450 degrees for 15 minutes. If there are two things I learned during this test they are:
1. Brine salmon because the taste is so much better
2. Wegmans brand lump is terrible
Butt Update (Day 1)
Picked up the butts today. That's right - two 8.5 pound pork butts with the bone left in. Let me take a moment to explain the butt. A pork butt is not the butt of a pig - for pulled pork you actually use a shoulder, and the shoulder is often referred to as a butt. There is also a pork picnic that you can use which is the shoulder with a little piece of the leg left on it. Example: Look at your shoulder and then imagine cutting it off and leaving a little piece of your arm on - that's a picnic. Next steps will include: injecting, rubbing, and pulling the butt.
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